Jen’s Friday Night Insights: Ticking Time Bomb
“Jen’s Friday Night Insights” is a monthly column by Jen Polvogt, bridging motherly and fantasy football advice. Jen approaches Week 5 of the NFL season with three years of fantasy analysis experience and five of being a mother.
Can you believe it’s been a month since my last installment of “Jen’s Friday Night Insights”? Well, a lot has happened. Not only in football but across the nation (nationwide legalization of marijuana, anyone?).
A Dance With Danger
Fun fact – it can take between two and 10 days for symptoms of salmonella to appear. I know that “fun” fact because my husband Nate and I ordered burritos based on a suggestion from DoorDash. After about an hour of deliberation, we finally settled on chicken burritos from a place called Savage Burrito. Never heard of it, but we thought we’d give it a go.
The burritos arrived on time, and we were eager to scarf them down. The first couple of bites were good. The fried chicken was crispy, the tortilla was soft, and the sauces and sour cream were distributed evenly. All signs pointed to success. Until I took a bite of undercooked chicken.
My first thought was, “that bite was very soft.” Then, I looked down to take another bite and pulled out the raw remains of the first bite.
There’s nothing I can liken the experience to. I had just ingested raw chicken. Should I go try to throw it up? Do I just sit here? I obviously throw the burrito out and call the restaurant immediately.
Upon dialing the number, the name “Hacienda” auto-filled on the caller ID. What the bleep?? We ordered these burritos from Savage Burrito, not Hacienda. We had been duped!
It appeared that Savage Burrito was a ploy to get us to order from Hacienda.
Fun fact No. 2 – The only time I’ve ever had food poisoning was from Hacienda. I haven’t eaten there in 20+ years because of that. So I would never, and I mean NEVER, willingly eat at Hacienda. Never. Until two Sundays ago.
The “Wait & See” Approach
I was on “salmonella watch” every day until this past Tuesday. That’s a very long time to wait to see if you have a potential hospital-inducing bacteria. I felt like my body was a ticking time bomb.
Every twinge, every stomach movement scared me. “Oh no. Here it comes. Salmonella.”
Thankfully, nothing happened, and I was fine, but it was quite a rollercoaster. All from one bite of raw chicken in a burrito.
Hacienda’s response was underwhelming. The manager was slightly apologetic and told us that they received that particular chicken pre-cooked from a third party. Our option was to drive back to the restaurant and pick up new burritos. Really? Do you honestly think I’m going to get in my car, drive to your disgusting establishment and get new burritos? Do you even hear what you’re saying? Absolutely not. No.
The real icing on the cake was that Hacienda couldn’t do anything about refunding our money. Because we ordered from DoorDash, we had to circle back to them for a refund.
I’m a ticking time bomb in so many ways after that conversation. My insides could erupt at any moment. I was still slightly hungry because I had only made it three bites into my burrito, I was on the phone with an incompetent manager and now I had to call DoorDash to get my money back.
It feels similar to being a Broncos fan. First, they sign Russell Wilson, and you think you’re getting a delicious burrito. Then, five games into the season, you take a bite of raw chicken and know you’ve been duped.
Now that I’m in the clear, let’s look at some players who are potentially in the clear to add points to your team and put a “W” in the column.
Jen’s Friday Night Insights: Week 5 NFL – “Wait & See”
Caleb Huntley (RB, Atlanta Falcons)
I was on the right path when I predicted that Cordarrelle Patterson would break a hip before the season was over. While he didn’t break a hip, he is out following a knee procedure. How long is he out? We don’t know yet. But he’ll at least miss the next four weeks.
That leaves rookie Tyler Allgeier and Caleb Huntley in the backfield for the Falcons. Welp. That’s not ideal.
However, all hope is not lost. Huntley could subsequently be the answer the Falcons are looking for. Allgeier didn’t see an overwhelming amount of work sitting second in line behind Patterson for three of the first four weeks. During that span of three games, he’s had 26 carries for 139 rushing yards and no touchdowns. As a rookie, that’s about on par for the expected performance for anyone not named Christian McCaffrey.
Enter Huntley. After Patterson went out in the second half of the game last week, Huntley showed us he could rise to the occasion, rushing for 56 yards and a touchdown on 10 attempts.
While Allgeier is listed as the RB1 on the depth chart, Huntley could outperform Allgeier and move up in the line if given the ball. He was an impressive back in college and hasn’t had an opportunity to prove his full worth yet ahead of Week 5 of the NFL season.
Huntley is only rostered in 9.6 percent of ESPN leagues, so if you need a stash for your roster, he is a good nugget.
Jamal Agnew (WR, Jacksonville Jaguars)
The last two seasons in Jacksonville have not been anything to write home about for Jamal Agnew. In fact, his entire NFL career is nothing to write home about. Of course, that’s not entirely fair since he spent the first four years on the dysfunctional Lions. But last week, he showed he could make impact plays by scoring two touchdowns (the only two on the team by the offense) on 50 receiving yards.
Agnew has major competition in the receiving room with his teammates Christian Kirk and the Joneses (Zay, Marvin and Tim). Kirk remainx the unquestioned WR1 in that offense. No question there. Zay Jones is questionable this week, and Marvin Jones seems to have fallen out of Trevor Lawerence’s field of view.
Week 5 will likely bring more production from a team that flailed and fumbled in their Week 4 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. The weather was terrible, and both teams struggled to hold on to the ball. With that game behind them, the Jaguars will welcome the Houston Texans to TIAA Bank Field on Sunday.
With Agnew’s Week 5 NFL performance, it will certainly be difficult for Lawrence to ignore. Zay Jones was limited in practice this week and is expected to play on Sunday. But with any injury, it’s always likely that players return to the game before they’re truly ready.
Agnew is a deep stash who will answer the call if needed. He’s only rostered in .8 percent of ESPN leagues and is a deep stash on any team needing a backup player in clutch situations.
I’m here to join the conversation, drink in hand, and watch the Week 5 of the NFL season unfold. Cheers! If you choose to make any of my drink recipes, I’d love to see them. Please take a picture and tag me!
Monthly Drink Recipe:
Spooky Season “Boo-zy” Punch
• 32 oz cranberry juice
• 32 oz apple cider
• 2 L ginger ale
• 12 oz vodka
• Add all ingredients to a punch bowl, add ice, gently stir and enjoy!