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PGA Tour-LIV Golf Merger Proves Wutang Was Right: Cash Rules Everything

PGA Tour-LIV Golf Merger Proves Wutang Was Right: Cash Rules Everything

by Bo McBrayer

Social media is one hell of a drug. Instead of actually peering inward about our feelings on a topic (The PGA Tour-LIV Golf merger in this case), we lash out cynically for the sake of the almighty impression. The drivel that spews forth is akin to the regurgitated pulp dropped into the eager mouths of baby birds.

Nobody actually cares. Humanity is wronged left and right every minute of every day. We forge ahead to the metronome of the news cycle. The Wu-Tang Clan echoes like a cavern-dwelling siren, “Cash Rules Everything Around Me.” You know the rest y’all… Blood is shed for the steeple. The meadow is painted like it’s “The War of the Worlds.” It’s still a joke. Nervous or not, laughter rings out.

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PGA Tour-LIV Golf Merger Proves Wutang Was Right: Cash Rules Everything

For shame, independent contractors who earn a living playing a maddening game with incredible precision pricked their finger to join LIV Golf. Some were honest:  It’s generational wealth.

“Families are always rising and falling in America.” – Hawthorne.

Others gritted their teeth and begrudgingly took the arrows from the spurned. PGA Tour commissioner Jay Monahan stooped to a 9/11 reference to issue the defectors a scarlet letter.

“Don’t come back. You are no longer welcome here.”

The drums grew to a deafening din when LIV Golf diverters *gasp* were still great at golf and contended at Majors. Brooks Koepka dominated his supposedly estranged brethren to win his third Wannamaker Trophy. Pay no mind to the Monahan behind the curtain.

Eve was tempted to sin with only an apple, according to lore. Humans are merely apes, anyway. Monahan now is CEO of an antitrust lawsuit that is probably already in the works. The infinite wealth in the Saudi Public Investment Fund has swallowed an entire cape buffalo of the PGA Tour and DP World Tour like an anaconda. Once digested, we know what the end result will be.


Let the jokes keep coming. None will be as funny as this one: Jay Monahan (Hold for laughter and applause).

The greenest grass is always on the other side of the fence… unless you water yours and tend to it. Unfortunately, the decades of hypocrisy are now in the open for the world to see. The pig’s blood didn’t just drench Carrie. Everyone at the dance was painted red. The PGA Tour wasn’t honest and now are knee deep in their “moral high ground.”

Good riddance.

Now on the tee, straight from the Federal Reserve, who the hell cares? Golf is still honest, even if those who bring it to us aren’t.

Thanks for reading my opinion on the PGA Tour-Liv Golf merger! Find all my work on Twitter, @Bo_McBigTime, and check out my huge collection of decadence at BigTime FlavorCo. Be sure to give “The 19th Hole” a watch for my PGA DFS and betting analysis  – every Tuesday at 8:30 p.m. EST on our YouTube channel.

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