With May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I believe it’s an important topic to discuss, as it affects so many people.
My mental health is something I have struggled with for years, primarily with situational depression. I have never been one who readily shares that area of my life. I don’t know if it’s because I feel ashamed. Maybe I think no one will care to know. Or perhaps I fear I’ll be viewed as “less than.” But all these are just part of the “Bad Thoughts” that creep into my brain, trying to take over and tell me who I am.
Singer/songwriter Rachel Platten currently has a song, “Bad Thoughts,” out on this very thing.
Rachel Platten’s “Bad Thoughts” – A Mental Health Must-Listen
Can someone tell me I’m not going crazy?
The thoughts in my head make me hate me
Maybe I’m too far from saving
Can someone check that the room isn’t spinning?
Seems like the oxygens thinning
The monsters in my head keep winning
When I was going through a bad patch earlier this year, I had a dear friend identify these thoughts as “brain gremlins,” and that felt so accurate.
What I knew to be true at my core was being compromised by these bad thoughts and monsters trying to take over. I was having continuous negative self-talk telling me, “I’m not good enough.” All I wanted was for everything around me to disappear. Crawling out of bed in the morning and trudging to work was all I could muster those days. A heaviness was cloaking the air around me, and it was stifling. I made it through this bad patch just like I did in the past.
I don’t know about you, but I feel like the whole world is off-kilter lately. Maybe it’s post-pandemic angst, and we are all grappling to align ourselves back to normal, whatever that means. People in workplaces are on their last fuse, causing a domino effect on others, so the whole department is running on fumes. We all are just tired. Myself included. When we get tired, external stimuli affect us all the more. There are times when “life can feel too hard to manage.”
For me personally, I don’t thrive in environments that aren’t supportive or around people who aren’t supportive. When I find myself ensnared in these kinds of situations, the bad thoughts start to creep in, and I begin to believe what they tell me. I start to have feelings of self-doubt. I lose my sense of identity, and I isolate.
Finding myself in these bouts of depression has taught me more lessons over the last couple of years than I would’ve cared to have learned.
“I’m Proud of Myself For Just Standing”
But as a result, these lessons learned have made me personally grow in ways that I wouldn’t have experienced otherwise. I’m improving at identifying situations or people that don’t align with my core values. Curtailing them before I find myself consumed with bad thoughts, I’m becoming more adept at keeping on my path’s purpose.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t express gratitude for some incredibly close friends who are there when I need help quieting the brain gremlins. Additionally, I have an amazing therapist who completely sees me for who I am and helps get me back on track when needed. If I’m having bad thoughts, she tells me to stop with the “stinkin’ thinkin’.” Helping me focus forward, she guides me in appreciating the strength and resiliency within me.
I’m bigger than the bad thoughts
I’m brighter than the light they’re trying to steal
I won’t let the bad thoughts take the wheel
I’m bigger than the lone nights
I’m brighter than the light they’re trying to steal
So why do they feel so real?
I know they’re not real
Bad thoughts aren’t realI’ma be alright
I’ma be alright…
So, in this Mental Health Awareness Month and any month, just know that it’s OK not to be OK sometimes. Many of us go through bad patches. The bad thoughts creep in and try to overtake us. Just know these thoughts aren’t real. You are bigger than what they tell you.
In the tough times, give yourself grace and practice self-care however that means for you. Keep pushing forward, lean on people you trust, and you’ll get through any darkness. The light within you is so much brighter than any of the lies. Please know your light is absolutely worth fighting for.
Thanks for reading my blog on Rachel Platten’s “Bad Thoughts” and Mental Health Awareness Month. Follow me on Twitter @tootsiepop6 for more entertainment and football content!