Welcome to 2024!
There’s plenty to be excited about heading into the new year. We’re careening head-on towards what’s sure to be a calm and even-keeled election year, at home and abroad. We get another Olympics. And there’s not one but two wars going on.
But hey, at least it’s a leap year, so we get one extra day to process it all.
If you’re like me, you self-medicate with a small escape into a movie from time to time. Besides buying cheap champagne and watching Andy Cohen really enjoy said champagne, the thing that brings us all together in celebration around the new year is the ball drop.
First started in 1907, it’s now a celebrated world-wide tradition.
So, in honor of our orbicular overlord, here are my top five “ball” movies to get you in the New Year’s spirit. Or, at the very least, distract you from thinking about what fresh hells await us in the coming 366 days.
Where’s Andy Cohen when I need him?
The Top Five “Ball” Movies in Honor of New Year’s
5. “Rollerball”
Feeling dystopian about the future? There’s no better place to look than the ’70s: “Soylent Green,” “Logan’s Run,” “A Clockwork Orange,” “Jaws 2,” and, of course, “Rollerball.” This 1975 classic imagines a fantasy world in 2018 where corporations rule the world and sponsor the titular extremely popular and violent sport. Truly, who could imagine such a world?
It was an ELITE night for the season finale for #TNFonPrime!
Thank you Cleveland and thank you NFL fans! pic.twitter.com/66IxvCFM1c
— NFL on Prime Video (@NFLonPrime) December 29, 2023
The action is a bit silly at times, and the overall dystopian plot is a bit weak, becoming nothing more than “1984 on roller skates.” However, James Caan (Jonathan E.) is a LeBron James-level actor who immediately elevates any project. Sit back and enjoy the fun.
Streaming Platforms: YouTube (free with ads), Tubi (free with ads), Pluto TV (free with ads)
4. “The Cannonball Run”
Talk about a murders row of star power. Look at this lineup.
The 1927 Yankees wish.
Again, like almost all of the movies on this list, it’s not winning any Oscars. The plot is as deep as a maze on a children’s menu at Applebee’s, and the movie tends to collapse under the weight of the at-times underutilized combined action prowess.
But just like any baseball lineup, when the heavy hitters in the top half of the order (Burt Reynolds, Roger Moore, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammt Davis Jr. and Farrah Fawcett) are on fire, it’s unstoppable. Just do your best to overlook the Jamie Farr Arab Sheik portrayal. The 80s were a wild place.
Streaming Platforms: YouTube (free with ads), YouTube TV (subscription)
3. “BASEketball”
In one of their few live-action acting roles, Trey Parker (Joe Cooper) and Matt Stone (Doug Remer) of “South Park” fame team up with “Airplane!” and “Naked Gun” writer/director David Zucker to create a comedy Voltron in “BASEketball.”
Zucker catches the same “lightning in a bottle” feeling here as he did in his previous satirical iterations by doing what worked, and it does. Parker and Stone hold their own amongst some powerful acting chops like Ernest Borgnine (Ted Denslow) and Robert Vaughn (Baxter Cain), but it’s the casting of real-life sportscasters Al Michaels and Bob Costas who nearly steal the entire show.
Streaming Platforms: Starz (subscription), YouTube TV (subscription)
2. “Moneyball”
If you’re a regular reader on the site, you’re probably a huge sports nerd like me. However, unless your name is Brad Pitt (Billy Beane), you also more than likely fall well short of the sexiness bar he set for sports nerds in this movie. I mean, damn.
“Moneyball” has a strong argument for being amongst the best sports movies ever, a strong statement considering how little actual sports are shown or played on-screen. Instead, every fantasy sports player gets to live out their own personal fantasy of pitting rival general managers against each other at the trade deadline and saving Chris Pratt’s (Scott Hatteberg) floundering baseball career.
Streaming Platforms: YouTube (free with ads), YouTube TV (subscription)
1. “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story”
“Dodge. Duck. Dip. Dive. Dodge” – A perfect mantra to start 2024.
What more needs to be said about this movie? It’s funny, it’s fast and it’s quotable. I still yell, “Ball me, Blazer,” at my son to get him to throw me something. He’s not old enough to realize how clever I am to still be quoting a nearly 20-year-old movie, but I like to imagine, on some level, he knows.
It’s a nearly perfect sports comedy, executing the delicate dance between the sports and comedy side where one doesn’t overshadow the other. Every scene is rewatchable. Start of the new year right and grab 2024 by the (dodge)balls.
Streaming Platforms: SlingTV (premium subscription)
Thanks for tuning in! If you’re interested in more entertainment and sports takes, follow me on Twitter @DKalltheway.