You ever hear the tale of The Dog & His Reflection? The online community comes to mind in the wake of the “Star Wars: The Acolyte” debut:
“A dog, to whom the butcher had thrown a bone, was hurrying home with his prize as fast as he could go. As he crossed a narrow footbridge, he happened to look down and saw himself reflected in the quiet water as if in a mirror. But the greedy Dog thought he saw a real Dog carrying a bone much bigger than his own.
If he had stopped to think, he would have known better. But instead of thinking, he dropped his bone and sprang at the Dog in the river, only to find himself swimming for dear life to reach the shore. At last, he managed to scramble out, and as he stood sadly thinking about the good bone he had lost, he realized what a stupid Dog he had been.”
Why “Star Wars” Fans’ Reaction to “The Acolyte” Was Uncalled For
The (extremely) online vocal majority of “Star Wars” fans (very tempted to air quote that last word) are the dog in this fable.
Disney+ plays the part of the friendly butcher, gifting the hungry dog new content bones. However, through more than nine TV shows, three movies and many animated offerings, the dog is still seeing George Lucas’s trilogies in the water’s mirror image. Yet, instead of the self-reflection that denouement brings in the original story, the dog is just sitting on the bank of the river, soaked, barking about how everyone else is the stupid one.
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(Don’t) Shoot the Messenger
If asked by a stranger on the street, I would say that I am a “Star Wars” fan. On the surface, I absolutely am! I’ve seen all three trilogies, most of the live-action shows (only missing “The Book of Boba Fett”), many of the video games, some of the animated offerings and yes, “The Acolyte.”
Hell, I remember watching the infamous “Star Wars Holiday Special” back on VHS. However, I have never read any of the novels, been privy to any of the Expanded Universe (EU) nor what is considered canon/not canon to the overarching mythos. Does that negate my fandom? I dare say not, but there is a sizable segment that would call me “Bantha fodder.”
I’m not here to throw my fellow casuals into the Sarlacc pits, either. However, I would like to address the aforementioned soaked dogs out there with this blog.
If you’re wondering if I’m talking about you, all you need to do is answer this question honestly: “Has anything I’ve written thus far offended you?” Good. Let the hate flow through you. Bark, bark, bark!
The knee-jerk behavior is ridiculous. I am hard-pressed to think of another cult of entertainment that reaches the depths of online vitriol being displayed by this segment of fans (and I just wrote an article on music fan cults!).
In a recent Forbes article, they discovered that the soaked dogs have been review-bombing the hell out of ‘The Acolyte’ online. This illustrates perfectly what y’all are barking about:
“The data here is absurd, showing a clear tidal wave of users racing to make it the lowest-scored product in 50 years of “Star Wars” history. It’s amassed quadruple the reviews of the longest-running “Star Wars” series, The Clone Wars. The only thing even close is three seasons across five years of the massively watched Mandalorian, and even then, that falls well short.” – Paul Tassi
Tassi goes on to list the total user scores by TV project across all their seasons:
- “The Acolyte”: 25,000
- “The Mandalorian”: 17,500
- “Obi-Wan Kenobi”: 10,000
- “The Clone Wars”: 6,000
- “Andor”: 5,000
- “Ahsoka”: 5,000
- “The Book of Boba Fett”: 2,500
- “Rebels”: 2,000
Now, bear in mind those numbers were drawn after the third episode of “The Acolyte.” Three weeks in, and the cacophony of ridiculousness was louder than that first THX hit in theaters.
This Is Not the Perfection You’re Looking For
Don’t paint me as an “Acolyte” apologist. There are obvious flaws in the show, as there are in literally everything in life. Nothing is perfect. This includes the flaws found in every “Star Wars” movie and show since 1977. But do we see the same review-bombing techniques being deployed on the “sacred” parts of the franchise? Funny enough, we don’t! It seems everything post-1983 is fair game, with the dogs singing the old C-3PO refrain, “We seem to be made to suffer. It’s our lot in life.”
The suspension of disbelief is not the actual underlying issue; it’s the selective use it is wielded with. Do you hear the baying of the hounds when it comes to noises in space (you don’t… there is no sound in space)? Or when Darth Vader completely ignores his childhood creation, C-3PO, while in each other’s presence in “The Empire Strikes Back”?
So we’re all cool with those, but it’s Midi-chlorians and space witches where we draw the line. Got it.
Let’s Hear It From the Experts
Let’s get into some specifics. Twitter/X user @MentorSkywalker dropped a lovely Mos Eisley of a thread (Obi-Wan was right, “You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy”), which started with:
That was an abomination to Star Wars imo. If you enjoyed #TheAcolyte then I am happy for you. But for me. No. This is truly a disaster. How can they keep getting away with this? I do my absolute best to find the positivity in most things. This show is soul destroying.… pic.twitter.com/WCSaAjxyVW
— Luke Skywalker (@MentorSkywalker) July 17, 2024
First things first, thank you, MentorSkywalker, for having some tenuous connection to reality by acknowledging that there might be people who actually enjoy the show (count me among them). I understand you are upset despite never really saying why. “The Acolyte” is “soul destroying”? That might be a wee bit dramatic, no?
Scrolling down below that tweet, I had a bad feeling about what I might find, but didn’t want to know the odds. I have chosen a few selections as a way of gauging the temperature of the vibe for you.
The first serving comes courtesy of @JohnnyMassacre:
Bruh. This is happening because communism instils a party branch which is a communist cell into any entity that is not controlled by the communists to ensure the agenda is carried out. The Marxists are in control of all major media right now.
— Johnny Massacre (@JohnnyMassacre) July 17, 2024
Which pairs like a fine Alderaanian wine with the following from @CrusadeTheWoke:
Disney has annihilated the power and respect of the most successful and influential franchise of all time. DEI is a cancer and can only corrupt and destroy. These people could make something else, leaving alone established cultural sources, but choose to destroy instead
— Crus (@CrusadeTheWoke) July 17, 2024
I’m starting to think this isn’t about “The Acolyte” or Star Wars at all. First, there are clear differences between Marxists and Communists, and your gripes were not established through violent means, which rules out the communists. Did I miss the Siege of Disney? Second, cancer comparisons, really? Never mind the fact that the MCU is worth twice that of the Star Wars movie franchise, why the need to bring DEI into this? DEI predates Star Wars by a long time. Again, I’m thinking this isn’t just about Star Wars.
But Wait, There’s More
So, let’s dig a little deeper. Is it just because it’s no longer controlled by an old white guy? So then you had no problem with Midi-chlorians and Jar Jar Binks, both of which were introduced during George Lucas’ years.
Let’s go back to that thread and see what else the people had to say.
The following two begin to illustrate what these review-bombing wet dogs are really mad at, from @robotoverlordz2 and @claytonlingo, respectively:
They get away with it because people watch the shows and subscribe to Disney+ (hate watching counts double and watching for youtube content counts a million times.)
These terrible shows (and movies) will only end when no one but the wokies are watching and Disney’s stock gets…
— robotoverlordz (@robotoverlordz2) July 17, 2024
Disney needs to be boycotted.. there is more and more evidence coming out that shows them to be a part of the lbgt sex cult and are funding it’s movement big time, and using that to influence kids to join their sex cult.. bankrupt disney so this will stop.
— Clay Lingo (@claytonlingo) July 17, 2024
And there it is. It didn’t take more than a few finger swipes to dig down into the dirt hiding beneath the fingernails of those ragged paws. Once again, we find the dregs of society, whose minds are so stunted by ignorance, bigotry and hatred, filling the air like a chorus of chihuahuas.
There is no “movement,” and there is no “lbgt sex cult.” There is merely our fellow humans. Not green-skinned, hundreds of years old or possessed of fantastical powers people. Rather, people of all type, trying to live their lives free of persecution and harm.
You (yes, the dogs baring their teeth right now) see a coven of witches in a fictional show and project your fears and insecurities upon them to the detriment and offense of others – others who actually exist. I’ll bet you can trace your family tree back to Salem.
Join Those Others
Join those others – the ones who voiced resistance in that Twitter thread. They’re the same others who displayed sanity, logic and compassion. Even more, others realize this is just a work of science fiction. It would be science fiction if you expected said science fiction to reflect a whitewashed worldview. You feel more comfortable watching something from 1977, full of grey-haired, British male actors with ghostly complexions, than something that feels slightly more representative of what this world, and likely universe, actually has to offer.
That’s not a “Star Wars” problem. That’s a “you” problem, one that will likely surface in an obstinate, barking manner, regardless of the IP it’s directed at. Go touch grass, smoke grass, plant grass, whatever it takes. Come back to reality and join your neighbors who live in it. Don’t be another reason Bob Barker reminded us after every episode to spay and neuter our pets.
Thanks for reading my opinion blog on “Star Wars: The Acolyte” reactions. Remember, where there’s Smoke… there’s fire! For more entertainment and sports takes, find me on Twitter, @MrSmokeyHell.